Sick of the carousel of dating disappointment? Want to jump off for good but scared of what will (or won’t) happen? I road tested the journey for you and lived to tell the tale.
I started using dating apps about a year after my marriage ended. I was initially comfortable on my own, but I eventually rediscovered my zest for life and felt that something was missing, which I assumed was relationship-shaped. I quickly learned that times had changed and that meeting someone ‘the old fashioned way’ was now pretty much impossible. Signing up to an app was my only option.
After several soul-sapping attempts, I realized that Match.com was the last place I was ever going to meet mine. Yet knowing unequivocally that dating apps weren’t my cup of tea, I continued regardless, blindly searching for a random guy to make me whole when I hadn’t done a fraction of the work I needed to do to make myself whole. Far from a decent partner myself, I somehow expected to attract one. It’s no wonder that I couldn’t get excited about any of the men I met – dating was little more than an elaborate distraction technique from what I should have been doing, which is building myself back up and continuing to focus on learning who I was outside of my marriage. Here’s what happened when I eventually stopped for good.