5. You Try to Morph Yourself into “Relationship Materials” — Whatever That Means.
When you go on dates, you don’t think: “This is who I am, I need someone who suits me, and I will stay single until I find this person.”
You think: “Look, this is someone desirable and a relationship with them would be so fantastic. What do they want from a partner? What’s considered “relationship materials” to them? I need to be that!”
You subconsciously act in a way that you think would fit with someone’s ideas of a dream partner instead of sticking to your unique ways of being. If someone rejects you, you feel a deep sense of shame, beating yourself up over the things you think you didn’t do well enough, for example: not being ladylike/manly enough or being too emotional/too independent.