In the following months, I slowly put my life together piece-by-piece. After a couple of misfits, I found a business job that suited me and allowed me to work from home. I took some of my savings and purchased a used car and finally moved into my father’s second home, since it was unoccupied. Slowly, I made internal changes to the house to make it feel like a home. I hired people to paint the walls and to install new carpets. I purchased new furniture to create a warm cozy atmosphere. I decorated the baby’s nursery so that she could have a place to grow (by this point, I knew I was having a girl).
In all that I had accomplished in a few short months, there was always a dark cloud hovering over me, and that dark cloud was my daughter’s father. Once a month like clockwork, he would call or text me to apologize for how he acted the previous month, only to message me a few days later starting a new fight again. The lowest blow was when I was just three months pregnant and he texted to tell me that he had a new girlfriend who was wonderful and was all the things that I was not. I couldn’t understand it. If he didn’t want to be a part of this, then why couldn’t he just leave me alone? Why did he put so much effort into trying to hurt me?